The Mabudachi Style!
by Furuba Foreva
Summary: AU. How would things have turned out if the host club had been around when our favourite Fruits Basket trio were in high school? This story delves into the bonding and relationship building of these fine young gentlemen, whom over the course of this fanfic help discover themselves and grow into the characters we know and love today. Non-yaoi. Nuff said!
1. Let Us Tell You a Story

**A/N: Hey! So this is my first partner project fanfic. I'm writing it with my best friend, who on here is known as Haruhi Fujioka 11. We decided to write this fic because at first we just decided to explore the life of our favourite Mabudachi Trio in their high school years. But then we also wanted to do a crossover. So here it is. I don't think anyone else has taken this perspective on an Ouran Highschool Host Club/Fruits Basket crossover...UNIQUE! Right Bro?**

**Bro: Yeah! (Imma girl by the way.) It's a little AU, so the Mabudachi Trio is in high school but the host club is still the same (takes place in the early 90's - damn right, we did our research!) So you will soon embark on this (non-copyright) journey. We hope you like it (and you'd better because I know where you live and I have access to a white van with no windows and a crowbar...) Right Ada?**

**Ada: ...Heh...yeah. *nervous laugh* Anyways, please remember to review! (Or else she'll blame it on me...:'/)**

**Bro: Ok we'll have Hunni say a few words.**

**Hunni: Bro-chan and Ada don't own Fruits Basket or Ouran Highschool Host Club sadly :( Hey Bro-chan where's the cake you promised me if I did this?**

**Bro: Here you go Hunni-chan!**

**Ada: Crap...I'm never ready with a cake for Hunni-sempai. :(**

**Hunni: *dark side* Yeah, that's why I don't like you.**

**Ada: D':**

**Bro: Aha... let's move on before things get ugly...**

**Chapter One**

"YUUUUKI!"

All seated at Shigure's dinner table besides its rightful owner jolted up from their seats as that deep, slightly feminine voice startled them from their otherwise peaceful meal. Shigure Sohma, on the other hand, clapped his hands in delight.

"Ah! That sounds like-" The dark-haired man was interrupted by a wail of pain emitting from his own lips. Yuki, the boy in calling, had fiercely yet calmly stabbed his guardian with a fork in his hand.

"You dare speak of that noisy person and I'll kill you," he threatened, his tone steady and cool. Shigure nodded, giggling nervously as he clutched his injured hand.

"Yuki, my dear brother!" the voice called again. It sounded muffled due to its originating outside the front door. "Open up and embrace the brotherly love that burns deep within my inner soul, gasping for the warmth that comes with being in your very presence!"

"Then you shall feel cold tonight, for I am not letting you get anywhere near me," Yuki muttered.

"Ah, but...Yuki-kun," Tohru, the house's resident and much appreciated caretaker spoke up from her spot at the end of the table. "It's starting to rain. We can't let him freeze..."

"Of course we can," Kyo growled from his seat across Yuki. However, there were no enforced objections as the kindly brunette made her way to the entrance.

"Hello, Ayame-san!" she greeted cheerfully as soon as she slid open the door. "Please come in, you must be cold."

"Tohru-chan, you truly are an angel, a small light of prosperous hope in this house of grieving men." The silver-haired snake bent down to plant a grateful kiss on one of her knuckles. She instantly began stammering incoherently, flushing a crimson red.

"I...I...gaaah!" she stuttered, shaking her head. "It's n-nothing!"

"And modest, too!" Ayame sighed woefully. He cast a hand over his eyes in pity. Eventually he came down from his cloud with a grin. "So, what ever is for dinner, my sweet maiden? I smell something absolutely delectable!"

"Nii-san," growled a smooth voice from behind a continually stuttering Tohru. "Don't expect you can drop in and be forgiven for becoming a burden wherever you go."

In spite of his brother's chilling words, Ayame expressed his glee full force at the sight of him.

"Yuki, so you are here after all!" he exclaimed. He eagerly captured the boy in a tight embrace. "I was so fraught with worry that you were wandering out in the rain somewhere and silently pleading for the treasured guidance of your beloved older brother!"

"Let go of me, you babbling fool!" Yuki spat, squirming out of his folded arms. "That scenario sounds like a preferred method of escape."

"Oh Yuki, your humor is boundless!"

"How are you so certain this is a joke...?"

"Aaya!" called a voice emerging from the dining room. Ayame's jaw gaped.

"Gure-san...you came running when you heard my voice after all this time..." he murmured. The snake slowly lifted his gaze to peek shyly at his friend through silver bangs.

"I couldn't possibly bear to be parted from you much longer...hearing you as I sat in my kitchen alone...Aaya."

"You weren't alone," grumbled Yuki. Ayame gasped.

"Is what my brother telling me true? Were you secretly sharing your affections with another?"

"Aaya, don't make such accusations so rashly. There is no other man that quite compares to you."

The atmosphere surrounding them glimmered with what would seem like love to any bystanders, including an immensely puzzled Tohru. Then the two carefree adults raised a thumb on each hand.

"ALL RIGHT!" they shouted. Kyo and Yuki sweatdropped.

"Just how long have you been doing this routine...?" Yuki asked, not really desiring nor expecting a reply.

Soon Ayame was settled into a chair beside his favourite and only brother. Tohru placed a steaming mug of tea on the table before him.

"Thank you, my princess," Ayame told her. Around this time, Shigure strolled in from the kitchen.

"I called Hatori about my hand," he said with mock pain. "He said he'll be arriving shortly."

"Oh, good!" Ayame exclaimed. "A Mabudachi Trio reunion!"

"Don't you see each other almost every day...?" Kyo grumbled in annoyance.

"Yes, but this is different, Kyon-kichi," Ayame replied flippantly, tossing his hair to the side. Kyo trembled with anger.

"Don't call me that!" he growled.

"How so, Nii-san?" Yuki spoke up. Ayame grinned.

"This time I have arrived with a purpose," he declared. "You see, Yuki, now that you have become president of the student council at your high school, I have taken it upon myself to explain to you in detail what it means to lead an entire school."

"I'm not taking anyone to a shady red light district," Yuki stated.

"While I must admit you are missing out greatly, that is not what I intend to discuss. Tori-san, Gure-san and I have had many wonderful memories of our time in high school. I believe that each of us can provide valuable insight on the trials and tribulations you might encounter. Which is why I brought pictures-"

"I'm not taking anyone to a shady red light district," Yuki repeated.

"Again, you are missing out, and again, that is not what I intend to discuss," Ayame insisted.

"You have pictures?" Tohru interjected curiously.

"Yes. From our first day to our last." The snake beamed.

"Oh brother..." Kyo muttered.

"You have pictures from the day we got kicked out of our first school?" Shigure asked excitedly.

"You got expelled?" Tohru exclaimed, eyes widened in shock.

"Yes, something or other about 'indecent exposure'," Ayame scoffed.

"I don't understand your surprise, Honda-san," Yuki put in lightly.

"Even Hatori-san?" Tohru asked. Shigure nodded, grinning.

"This, as you've seen before, is our first day at a private boys' school," Ayame announced, flipping open a large photo album from nowhere. The familiar photo captured the three of them in distinguished black uniform jackets, Ayame wearing only the white undershirt. They each displayed a slightly differing personality in their adolescence than they are known for today.

"This is how we got expelled," Shigure added, skipping past several pages to a picture of them in red speedos and santa hats/beards, frolicking about in the snow. "Around Christmas time."

"How did you get Hatori to agree to that?" Yuki asked incredulously. The photo depicted the young doctor with a crazed, abnormal expression amidst the laughing faces of his companions.

Ayame and Shigure exchanged glances. They only offered a pair of ominous smirks as a response.

"And this-!" Ayame exclaimed excitedly, his fingers on the corner of the page. But just at that moment, a strong whistling wind raced into the house through the front door. Ayame dropped the book and hurried alongside Shigure to greet the stoic dragon at the entrance.

"You called?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the two. On his shoulders sat the wriggling, Boy-Lolita figure of Momiji, and standing next to them was two-tone-headed Hatsuharu.

Before his friends could ask, the doctor explained. "Momiji wanted to come visit Tohru and Haru decided he'd tag along."

"Ah, Momiji!" Tohru exclaimed happily.

"TOHRU!" the blonde boy yelled in excitement, hopping down off of Hatori. He almost hugged her before Shigure held him back with a nervous chuckle.

"Now Momitchi-kun, regardless of the fact that she already knows our secret, there's no need to throw ourselves at her."

"Yeah, no need," Kyo said irritably. Momiji pouted.

"Okay," he said; dejected.

"Nice to see you again, Hatsuharu-san," Tohru said to the ox.

"Likewise, Honda-san," he replied in his naturally monotonous voice.

"So what did you call me for?" Hatori cut in.

"Yuki was being cold as usual and in his fury lashed out at my poor hand," Shigure whined. Yuki glared at him.

"Quit complaining and let me have a look at it," Hatori said calmly. He grabbed Shigure's hand to inspect it, the dog letting out a yelp. "It's bleeding a little, and the rest is mostly just bruised. It only needs to be disinfected, which you could have done yourself." He regarded Shigure with a pointed look.

"Heh..." Shigure said sheepishly. Hatori harshly dabbed at his hand with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol. "Haa-san, you're so insensitive!"

"Regardless, Tori-san," Ayame said carelessly. "We're relating our marvelous high school days to these young learners."

"That old story again?" Hatori mused, his tone grim. "Right up to that ending?"

"Every Sohma clan tale has a less-than-happy ending," Shigure replied, equally as grim. "At least ours had a longer run of happiness."

"Agreed," Ayame said curtly, eager to skip to the good parts. "Now without further ado, our first day at..." He snapped his fingers as if to cue something that had been rehearsed.

"Ouran Academy!" they said in unison (though Hatori sounded the least enthusiastic).

"See? Gather around, children. We re-shot our old first day picture as soon as we stepped into the school," Shigure said, gesturing to another photo. Everyone else gathered around in chairs with varying levels of curiosity, Tohru's being the highest.

"What the hell kinda uniforms are those?" Kyo demanded. He jerked an accusatory finger at the picture of the trio in periwinkle jackets over pristine white dress shirts. Their ties were a dark purple/blue colour, and a pretentious emblem was also embroidered into the fabric over their chests.

"Ouran Academy is one of if not the most prestigious school from then to now," Ayame explained haughtily. "Admittance into the school required the utmost pedigree and profit, and if not that then you had to be the top of your class to obtain a scholarship. Luckily we easily blended into the former category."

"Although we did know someone who got accepted via scholarship," Shigure remarked. They could only assume that he was feeling melancholic, for his casual tone and expression betrayed nothing.

As Tohru skimmed through the pages, a loose photograph drifted down to land right-side-down at her feet. She gingerly peeled it off the floor to hold it up for all to see, and her breath hitched in her throat.

"Who are these people in the photo with you? They're all so handsome; are they members of the 'outside' Sohma family?"

"No, actually." It was Hatori who spoke up. "They were the other members of that degrading club we were forced to join on our first day. What was it called again?"

"Ah! The Host Club?" Ayame cheered. "Tori-san, don't be so harsh. They were a lovely group of people."

"The Host Club?" Yuki asked skeptically. "Shouldn't that be illegal?"

"Oh, the Host Club was a harmless group of adolescent men who spent their after-school hours courting beautiful young ladies." Shigure sighed in content.

"No wonder you're a pervert," Kyo muttered.

"What were their names?" Tohru queried, gazing down at the picture of all the members in their school uniforms.

"The club president, or the 'King'-" Shigure began.

"Or 'Daddy' as he sometimes liked to be called," Hatori added with a shake of his head.

"-he's the tall blonde one in the middle. His name was Tamaki Suoh," Shigure finished.

"The one with blue eyes?" Tohru clarified.

"Yes. He's a halfblood," Ayame added. "Like Miji-san! Only Maki-san is half French."

"Kyoya Ootori was our vice president, the one with glasses next to Tamaki," Hatori said. "Tamaki liked to consider the Host Club as a family. He was the 'father', Kyoya was the 'mother'-"

"Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin were the brothers - those redheaded twins you see there," Shigure put in, his eyes dancing with amusement.

"Haruhi Fujioka was the 'little sister'," Ayame said. "She was the short-haired, brunette commoner scholarship student Gure-san mentioned. The one with big brown eyes. She had such a kind heart, although you couldn't tell with her innocent but malicious remarks. She was like an apathetic version Tohru."

"Why was there a girl host in a club that courted women?" Yuki demanded with a note of bewilderment.

"It's a long story that will be explained to you shortly," Shigure promised. "Anyways, Mitsukuni Haninozuka and Takashi Morinozuka were the 'neighbors'. They're the small blonde one on the shoulders of the tall dark one - respectively."

"Mitsukuni-san looks just like Momiji-kun!" Tohru exclaimed brightly. Momiji's eyes widened.

"He does kinda look like me," he agreed.

"And we were the cousins!" Ayame declared gleefully.

"...who dropped in unexpectedly," Hatori added.

"Ah, the fun we had with everyone." Shigure's gaze seemed ensconced in a far-off land, brimming with memories of the past.

"I still remember our first day..." Ayame breathed. "It was a cold, blustery day in early January..."

...

The pale winter morning sun cast a bleak shadow over the backs of three approaching figures to the school that day. Ouran Academy's halls were buzzing with drifting conversations of giddy girls and animated discussions among small groups of teenaged boys. But as the entrance doors swayed outwardly to let in those three new faces, the hallway immediately grew hushed.

"See, Tori-san? Gure-san?" the first of the figures announced brightly. "The carefully sculpted statues, the priceless paintings, the grandiose palace layout - this is how every high school should be designed! They ought to take a lesson from Ouran's dedication to fine luxuries. Our old school could never possibly compare to such lavishness."

The boy tossed his length of silver hair flawlessly over one shoulder, twisting it neatly with his lean fingers. His locks did not reach farther than an inch past his shoulders, but by regular Ouran standards, it was certainly considered long for a male student. His frivolous golden gaze swept over the room without lingering on any particular spot, more of an act of vanity rather than scoping out his surroundings. Several girls let out high-pitched squeals of delight.

"Kyaaa~! Look at his eyes!"

"They're almost the exact same colour as Hikaru's and Kaoru's!"

"They're like gems!"

"I'm more impressed by our reception," the brown-eyed boy on the far side of the first remarked. His shaggy black bangs hung just above his mysterious dark orbs, earning his appearance a sly edge. He eyed one of the few girls who hadn't been marveling at his companion, rewarded with a squeak as he chuckled.

"You're both completely full of it," said at last the boy in the middle. He had a clearly no-nonsense expression aided by his simple dark brown hairstyle and his cold, murky green eyes.

"Lighten up, Haa-san," whined the black-haired boy on his left.

"You should be thankful that we were transferred to such a prestigious school," the snake-eyed boy on his right agreed.

"We weren't transferred. We got expelled from our other school and this was the only place that would accept us as long as we paid for it."

"I like to think that they were willing to nurture our distinct personalities," the silver-haired boy sniffed.

"You can float through the rest of your life believing what you'd like to think all you want, Ayame," the boy titled as 'Haa-san' and 'Tori-san' simultaneously replied. "Who am I to suggest to you otherwise..."

"It wouldn't do you any good anyways," 'Gure-san' mused.

"Hush now. I want to get us a picture together," Ayame insisted. He turned his indifferent eyes on a pair of giggling girls, approaching them gallantly. "Excuse me."

The girls froze.

"Would you mind taking a picture of us three together?"

The pair flushed, spurting out a number of flustered phrases that included the words "kyaa!" and "of course!" Ayame flashed them a seductive yet detached grin, sending them spinning in another bout of "kyaa"s.

The fair-haired boy caught his stoic companion around the shoulders, their other friend crouching next to him and raising several fingers in an odd 'peace' sign. Both girls got a hold of the camera handed to them and shakily snapped the shot.

"H-here you go," they stammered, returning the device to Ayame. His smile was brief and unsympathetic. He didn't offer much else of a reply as he started back off with his friends down the hall.

"You couldn't have at least said 'thank you'?" Hatori scolded, a sour expression crinkling his otherwise stone face. Ayame glanced at him curiously out of the corner of his eye.

"For what?" he asked, genuinely dumbfounded. Hatori sighed. There was no explanation given. Due to that, Ayame sniffed disdainfully and continued in his pompous stride to their first class.

"What do we have now, Gure-san?" Ayame asked. He was far from prepared to admit that he had been walking so confidently without a purpose.

The nicknamed boy with shaggy hair, still not presented with his actual identity to any close observers glanced down at the schedule in his hands.

"Literature," he replied calmly, his eyes sparkling. Ayame grinned.

"A grand subject, one that coaxes the mind to develop creative ideas into thoughtfully plotted webs of action and reaction. Undoubtedly one of my favourites. Don't you agree, Shigure?"

So that was the boy's name. He offered his dramatically expressive friend a simple nod. It was no doubt one of his favourites as well.

"Really?" Hatori mused. "I would have thought the dramatic arts were more your area of likeness."

"You cannot have drama without strong literature as its form," Ayame protested. Eventually the trio arrived at their inevitable destination: a tall mahogany door with a black plaque scrawled 'Literature' in boldface type-print. Ayame reached for the intricate door handle and, turning the knob, gestured towards the room to his two companions. "Alas, we are here, my loyal compatriots!"

They were greeted by a wall of wondering silence. All heads in the classroom were raised curiously in their general direction.

Ayame folded his arms over his chest. "Hmmph. We don't even deserve the honor of an introduction, courtesy of our sensei? A fine school this is."

"Ah, of course," a dainty, middle-aged woman at the head of the room replied. She took several delicate steps towards them, gazing up at the three. "Class, these are our new students: Ayame Sohma, Hatori Sohma, and Shigure Sohma. Please regard them kindly."

"That's slightly more acceptable," Ayame scoffed.

"What were you expecting her to do? Roll out the red carpet?" Hatori muttered.

"What else?" Ayame replied with far too much innocence than his arrogance should have allowed. The three of them proceeded to taking their seats near the center row of the room. Shigure sat next to Ayame while Hatori remained behind them.

Our stoic individual found himself seated in front of a boy with moderately short brown hair and large brown eyes. On either side of the boy sat a pair of auburn-headed twins, equally sharing a devilish smirk. They regarded the poor new student with what he could only assume to be what Shigure referred to as the 'evil eye'. Hatori did a double-take at the eerie display before slowly returning his eyes to the front.

The teacher resuming her lesson was enough of a distraction for the serious boy to tune out the snickering from behind.

"Did you see the serious look on that guy?" one of the twins sniggered.

"He was actually appalled!"

"What a nut!"

"He was worse than Tono!" they exclaimed in unison.

"Do you guys realize how serious an accusation that is...?" the boy between them interjected in a flat voice.

"He looks so girlish and dainty," the twin on his right criticized.

"Look at him over there, twirling his hair like a lovesick schoolgirl," the twin on the left agreed. Sure enough, their fellow student was thoughtfully spinning a lock of silver hair around his index finger.

"Is there a problem with a guy looking like a girl?" their friend accused. He didn't quite seem to be referring to himself, however, though his face was round and feminine.

"Of course not, Haruhi," the twins chorused, cuddling the smaller boy in their arms. "Waah! You're so cute when you're all defensive!"

"Let me go!" Haruhi hissed. Apparently he had a typical girl's name as well. The boy quickly squirmed out of their grasp. "Now can you please shut up? We're in the middle of class." The pair shrugged, pretending to tune back into the lesson. Unbeknownst to their friend, they shared a knowing smirk over his head that indicated malicious intent.

One twin feigned a yawn, stretching his arm casually to hover over the shoulders of the brunette student, plopping a scrap of crumpled paper in his brother's lap. Haruhi glared suspiciously at him, still tense even after the twin gave him an indifferent smile. Something didn't quite sit right.

The twin on the receiving end of the note chuckled inaudibly, sounding like a handful of short breaths. Their friend usually caught in the middle of their tricks was definitely sure that something was up.

Several rows ahead, Ayame listened to the lesson with little intrigue. He was constantly murmuring about flaws in their sensei's teaching techniques to Shigure. But in the midst of his whispered rant he felt a sharp, wet pellet smack into the back of his neck.

"Ouch!" he hissed. Instinctively he rubbed the mildly sore area and was immediately disgusted. "Saliva! What kind of barbaric...?" He trailed off, glancing around behind him for the perpetrator.

"Someone hit you with a spit ball?" Shigure asked, staring at his silver-haired colleague in amusement. He noticed that his friend's snake-like eyes suddenly narrowed at his target, much like said animal when stalking prey. The dark-eyed boy glanced over his shoulder as well. He soon recognized their enemy.

Reeking of mock innocence were a pair of ginger twins. The both of them pretended to absentmindedly whistle and twiddle their thumbs, their flawless synchronization impressive. However if they had truly been innocent, they would have been paying attention to the lesson like Hatori and the boy wedged between them.

"What's your plan, Aaya?" Shigure asked as they turned back around. He vaguely heard whimpers of suppressed laughter from behind.

"Let's just say that four can play at this childish game." Ayame's golden eyes gleamed with mischief.

While the twins fidgeted to prevent themselves from howling in amusement, Ayame neatly rolled a thin sheet of paper from his notebook. Shigure copied his motion.

"Ready..." Ayame whispered. They had turned back to face the teary-eyed twins, lifting their 'weapons'.

"Aim..." Shigure whispered back. They both kept one eye open as they stared at their targets: right where the neck of each cousin's assigned twin met with their collar. Their goal was for their tiny projectiles of saliva to drip down the twins' neatly-pressed dress shirts.

"Fire!" they hissed in unison. The squirming twins never knew what hit them. The one thing they could comprehend was that two equally large wads of spit splattered onto their necks, slowly slipping down passed their collarbones and further down their shirts.

"Blech!" they chorused, repeatedly popping their collars to air out the unidentified liquids.

"What the hell was that?" the one on the right stage-whispered.

"Unbelievable!" the left one agreed. A low whistle somewhere in front of them snatched their attention. It derived from the shaggy-haired new kid. He smirked at them, jerking a thumb next to him. The twins then stared aghast at their long-haired target from before, winking an eye at them with an unsuspecting smile. Their jaws hit the floor.

"It serves you right," their apathetic companion murmured, not glancing up from his notes.

"He doesn't know who he's dealing with," they declared quietly; wickedly.

Over a small period of approximately five minutes, mucus-enriched spit balls landed atop silver and black heads alike, into unforgiving topaz eyes, on notebooks, hands, jackets, foreheads, etc. Both parties were eventually hit with nearly a shower's worth of saliva, neither side wavering in attack and defense. Flying stray balls of spit even drenched those not participating in this waging battle. Unfortunate friends and civilians wiped areas where they'd been struck with nothing short of disgust.

Incorrectly aimed fire would hit a girl in the shoulder here, a boy's shoe there. A few less-than-silent protests nearly drowned out the lesson at the front. Strangely, no authorized action was being taken.

"We need more ammunition!" the twins exclaimed hoarsely, ducking under their desks. The piercing sound of spit balls shooting onto the outside of their shelter seemed to mimic the effect of rain (or darts).

One twin quickly grabbed Haruhi's water bottle and gulped down its contents with his fellow soldier.

"Hey!" the brunette hissed. The identical brothers simply wiped their mouths, placing the bottle back in its place.

"Minty," they commented. Their friend glared.

"AMMUNITION RELOADED!" they announced simultaneously, continuing with their fierce battle of saliva. Ayame and Shigure had surprisingly never stopped. It was turning out to be a never-ending war. That it was, until one of the twins accidentally hit their teacher square in the back.

"THAT'S IT!" she shrieked. The room fell silent as the culprits dropped their weapons. "Go wash up and all four of you are seeing me after class!"

"Really, she speaks up now?" the twins' companion mumbled.

"Madame, there's no need to interfere," Ayame said curtly. "We were just solving this matter as men."

Hatori and the boy seated behind him sweatdropped. _What kind of men throw spit balls at each other?_

"Don't talk back to me, Sohma-san. I-"

"Which one?" they all asked - even Hatori - their voices overlapping one another.

"You know very well which one!" she shouted. The twins rubbed their ears while Ayame blinked up at her.

"No need to bark at us; you knew the very minute we stepped into this classroom that all three of us share identical surnames. If you do not make the simple effort to specify, then there's bound to be some confu-"

"JUST GO!" she screamed at an inhuman octave. Her wrinkled face boiled red like a burning coal.

The four culprits trudged out of the room, the bottoms of their pant legs dragging on the wet floor. Several requests of permission to wash up as well filled the room. "Very well! Everyone else go join them in the bathroom to clean yourselves off."

Hatori heaved a sigh as he got up from his desk to join the crowd at the exit. A small finger tapped him on the shoulder from behind. He turned back to be met with the brown-eyed boy from before. The one who had sat gripping his desk to relieve some irritation as his twin friends spat endless balls of spit until their mouths turned dry.

"Hi," the boy said. "Sorry about my friends. They can be a real pain sometimes." He bit his lip. "Well, most of the time." He sighed. "_All_ the time."

"I was about to say the same thing," Hatori complied with an equal amount of exasperation. They stared curiously at each other for quite some time.

"Haruhi Fujioka," the brunette said at last, offering his hand to shake.

"Hatori Sohma, as you might have heard. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise."

**A/N: Thank you for reading if you got this far! Please remember to review! It's a uh...little button down there...just...a coupla words...if you liked it or not...**

**Bro: Yeah and I don't like people who just follow, so review or else...**

**Ada: Heh...of course if you follow we don't mind...or...I don't mind...Still, review! (My friend here has an aggressive advertising strategy. :P)**

**Hunni: Takashi, Bro is scaring me a little but I can't say it to her face or I won't get any more cake!**

**Mori: Yeah.**


	2. The Pranksters' Truce

**A/N -**

**Bro: Hey, fellow crossover fans! We're here with the second chapter of _The Mabudachi_ _Style! _and we are very grateful to all of our followers, reviewers, and the people who favourited us. Right Ada?**

**Ada: Right Bro! We probably sound like a cheap commercial right now, but oh well!**

**Bro: (If you think that I will FIND you...and you know what happens after that.)**

**Ada: Ah...heh. 0.0' (No she won't. :P) Anyways, we decided to personally respond to our four reviewers so far. Here are our responses:**

** Lolipopalien -**

**Ada: ...?**

**Bro: ...**

** janoskiandirectoner -**

**Ada: First of all, I'd like to thank you so much for reviewing, favouriting, and following my stories (and myself!). I really appreciate the support. :3**

**Bro: I would also like to thank you for being so kind to tell us that we did our favourite characters justice. And thanks for being the amazing person you must be!**

** Anti-Social Otaku -**

**Ada: Okay, first I wanna say that I love your username! D And thank you for the positive review. I always like it when people tell me the parts they liked in my writing/shared writing.**

**Bro: I love you for the nice review! Thanks for also favouriting this story.**

** CATLO -**

**Ada: Aha, we love them too! x3 And as you can see, we updated.**

**Bro: Thanks for the review!**

**Ada: We would also like to thank the other person who favourited even though they didn't review. Perfectly fine!**

**Bro: Yeah, thanks!**

**Ada: This is getting long, so I put our disclaimers on the bottom. Without further ado, enjoy the story!**

**Chapter Two**

"I simply cannot comprehend why young masters such as yourselves would display such appalling behavior, in the middle of a serious lesson no less!"

After class, the two young Sohmas and their twin rivals were delayed from their next subject as punishment for their juvenile spit ball war. They now stood before their literature sensei with calm, almost tired expressions plastered over their handsome faces. All except for Ayame, who stared defiantly at the middle-aged woman.

"They plotted the first attack!" he exclaimed, whirling around to jerk an accusing finger at the twins.

"What are you talking about?" the twin on the right replied defensively.

"Don't play innocent with me, you rotten doppelganger!"

"Hey, who are you calling rotten you crazy transvestite!" the same twin shouted.

"Perhaps we'll battle it out once more!"

"I have no objections!"

Both sides brought out their weapons along with their partners, aimed to spit.

"Hold on! WAIT A MINUTE!" the teacher shouted. "Where did you get those? I thought I cleaned you out!" She huffed, snatching the rolled up papers and stuffing them in her pocket. The twins turned to her, their attitude suddenly changing.

Each teasing a finger beneath her chin, they leaned in close to her ears. "Hachirobei-sensei, there are many hiding places that you are unaware of..." The teacher's gaze flickered fervently from one twin to the other. A garbled sound of nervousness escaped her throat.

"Ehh...?"

Shigure coughed. "...since twenty years ago."

The trance that had briefly distracted Hachirobei-sensei shattered into millions of intangible shards that flew out at the boy with shaggy black hair.

"Was that a fat joke?" the twins asked of said boy.

"Possibly."

"JUST WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING, SOHMA-SAN!"

"Which one?" Shigure and Ayame replied in unison, their tones almost exhausted.

"GAH! DON'T BE A COUPLE OF WISE-ASSES!"

"Stop cursing; it's verbal abuse," the twins cut in.

"You could get sued for that!" Shigure added, wagging a finger at the teacher.

Hachirobei-sensei sucked in a deep breath through gritted teeth, trying to regain her composure. Finally the creases in her forehead smoothed out.

"Never mind all that. I don't care who started it; I'm ending it."

"But, ah...technically, they started it," Shigure replied.

"Indeed," Ayame puffed.

"And you retaliated, did you not?" The teacher raised an eyebrow at the silver-haired boy.

"As only a brave man would." Ayame lifted his chin indignantly.

"No, a brave man would have spoken up for himself and complained rather than participating in such childish endeavors." All four male students exchanged glances. Then they burst out in laughter.

"What's so funny?" their sensei demanded furiously.

"Surely you must know that tattling is an act of cowardice," one of the twins explained in a condescending, matter-of-fact tone.

"Something we actually expected of this girlish Sohma," the other added, nudging Ayame in the ribs.

"Unfortunately, we were proven wrong," they chimed harmoniously with a synchronized shrug. Ayame sniffed.

"That you were," he said.

"Well," the teacher interrupted. "If you believe that this is all fine and dandy, you won't mind cleaning up after the damage you've caused!" She tossed a mop at Ayame's unsuspecting arms. He let it drop at his feet.

"You don't honestly expect me to touch that, do you?"

"We've tried that excuse before," the twins told him. "It turns out she can speak of comedic manuscripts all she wants, but she won't believe in their practices."

"Obviously not," Ayame replied wryly. All the while, his best friend Shigure studied their banter curiously, stroking his non-existent beard with two fingers as he leaned against the teacher's desk. At last he straightened.

"What are your names, fellow brothers of merriment?" he asked.

"Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin," they responded in their regular unison.

"Shigure Sohma," Shigure said with a nod. "My friend, Ayame Sohma. Pleasure meeting you." He didn't offer his hand to shake. They might not have taken it anyway.

"If you have time to acquaint yourselves, you have time to clean!" the teacher screeched, forcefully shoving wet rags in Ayame and Shigure's hands while she kicked the mop to the twins. "Now, I will sit right here at my desk, an-"

"Hachirobei-sensei?"

The five of them glanced at the doorway, where a rather blank-faced Haruhi stood.

"Hey, Haruhi!" The twins waved at him. He stiffly ignored them.

"What is it, Fujioka-san?" Hachirobei-sensei sighed.

"We ran out of soap in the bathroom," he replied.

"I'll see what I can do." The teacher's shoulders slumped, but before the boys on punishment could try anything she stopped at the entrance to glare at them. "I hope to see this room at least half clean by the time I get back. You better not be up to any shenanigans while I'm gone."

Shigure raised his hand. "Ooh, ooh! Hachirobei-sensei! Hachirobei-sensei!" He bounced on the balls of his feet.

The woman sighed. "What is it, Shigure?"

"Could you explain the definition of shenanigans for our young minds so we can learn to avoid it?" Shigure smiled a sickeningly sweet and innocent smile.

The teacher clenched her fists at her sides, trembling and twitching. A vein on her forehead throbbed, dangerously close to popping.

"Hachirobei-sensei, what do you plan on doing with those?" Hikaru asked, pointing at each of her fists in turn. He seemed casual and bored.

"You know you can also get sued for that," Kaoru added, studying his fingernails. Hachirobei-sensei's face transitioned from red to deep purple.

"Hachirobei-sensei, I am rather concerned," said a sympathetic-looking Shigure. "At this rate of sky-rocketing your blood pressure, you might very well be hospitalized."

"But don't worry, we'll call for help _immediately_," the twins assured her simultaneously. It almost sounded like a thinly-veiled threat.

Meanwhile Ayame stood rather unconcerned behind his cousin and the twins. "Whatever does it matter if she's hospitalized or not? She brought this upon herself the moment she interfered in a battle of vengeance-seeking men. In actuality, she should be angry at herself."

"A note-worthy conclusion, Aaya." Shigure once again stroked his 'beard'.

"It's close to accurate," the twins acquiesced. "Apparently she takes anger-management classes every Monday afternoon."

"How...how can you suggest that this is my fault?" the teacher screeched vehemently.

"Simple. I just did," Ayame replied. They all stared at her with equally tired expressions. Steam pressurized out of Hachirobei-sensei's ears.

"IMPOSSIBLE STUDENTS! GET TO WORK RIGHT NOW, OR YOU'RE STAYING IN FOR DETENTION AT LUNCH!"

"You know what they say, by punishing others you're only punishing yourself." The twins shrugged.

"Don't they teach you that in anger management class?" Shigure asked.

"It's clearly ineffective." Ayame let out a breath through pursed lips. Their teacher, cursing unintelligibly, stalked out of the room seething. Haruhi, having been watching the scene with a mixture of pity and indifference, followed suit. Just as the door slowly closed behind them the first years could vaguely hear something along the lines of 'I've upset the devil', 'Satan is out to crucify me in life and in death', and 'Just remember what they taught you, countdown from one hundred...ninety-nine...ninety-eight...' _Slam._

Despite their act of nonchalance, they knew full well that they had to live out their punishment.

"Disgusting assignment," Ayame grumbled. Him and Shigure resigned themselves to scrubbing the desks while Hikaru and Kaoru both washed the floor, sharing a mop.

"Interesting company, though," Shigure mused, eying the twins. "No one at our old school was that much of a prankster and didn't belong to our trio."

"They're not just pranksters. They're like the devil's children," Ayame muttered. "But you do raise an interesting point, Shigure. However..." His snake-like eyes glowed, his voice raising melodramatically. Shigure smirked. He could sense the start of their old routine that had blossomed in middle school, the one meant to trick bystanders and keep their minds guessing. "Tell me you don't see them as my replacements in your heart, dear Gure-san!" He raised an elbow to shield his crestfallen face.

Shigure grabbed Ayame's chin with three fingers. "Do not jump to such haphazard conclusions, my sweet Aaya. I tell you time and again that you mustn't doubt my faithfulness to you." He smirked, feeling the twins' curious amber gazes burning into the side of his head.

"G-Gure-san...!" Ayame murmured frantically. Just as they'd reached the climax of their false homosexuality, the facade shattered with a single raise of their thumbs.

"ALL RIGHT!" they exclaimed. They slowly rolled their eyes casually to the side to steal glances at the twins. Their arms were folded over their mirrored chests, frowns tugging at their mouths.

"They stole our bit!" they shouted in defiance, each pointing an accusing finger at the cousins. Ayame and Shigure raised their eyebrows in surprise.

"I beg your pardon?" Ayame sputtered. The twin they could only assume to be Kaoru raised his chin.

"Our act of homosexual love + our relationship as directly-related twin brothers + our perfect symmetry-"

"AKA twincest," presumably Hikaru interjected.

"-results in our angle, there of which we assigned-"

"-eternal dibs," they finished together. Ayame and Shigure blinked at them.

"How are you so certain we were acting?" was Shigure's simple question after a long pause.

"You're bluffing," the twin on the right stated, narrowing his eyes.

"Am I?" Shigure challenged, no real threat to his tone.

"It's obvious," the twin on the left replied.

"Whether he is bluffing or not is irrelevant," Ayame snorted. "This has been our act of endearment since the beginning of the 8th grade."

"What evidence do you have to support that statement?" both twins asked.

"One Hatori Sohma," Shigure replied.

"How do we know he wouldn't side with you?" presumably Kaoru demanded. Ayame sighed.

"Unfortunately, our stoic companion does not usually involve himself in our affairs."

"We tried persuading him by giving him his own affectionate pet names," Shigure added.

"But he always bats us off like flies." Ayame sobbed in sincere regret. The twins regarded them carefully.

"Just how closely related are you guys?" they asked.

"Even fraternal triplets don't look that different," Hikaru remarked.

"So you can't possibly be brothers," Kaoru decided.

"We're very close due to our bonds of friendship," Ayame replied. "Although by blood, perhaps we only share 1/128 of actual genes?"

"The Sohma clan is very large and widespread. Therefore we are extremely distant relatives. What is it...fifth cousins, ten times removed?" Shigure glanced at his silver-haired companion, eyebrows furrowed. Ayame bit his lip.

"I'm not sure the math corresponds..."

"Then how did you come to know each other so well?" the twins pressed.

Here is where the two Sohmas hesitated.

"We...met by chance..." Ayame said, choosing his words carefully.

"In elementary school," Shigure explained a tad more smoothly. "First year, to be exact." It wasn't a lie, really. It was merely a portion of the truth. "We happened to be in the same class and realized that we were all Sohmas. And so our friendship budded."

"Just like that?" the twins asked skeptically. The cousins nodded. "So, why exactly did you switch schools in the middle of the year?"

Shigure's grin was sly. Ayame giggled. The identical brothers each raised an eyebrow.

"Gure-san?" Ayame gestured for his friend to explain.

"Our old school was rather...strict. Apparently they would not stand for several of the things we did. They punished us for, ah...what was that again, Aaya?"

"Im...imposing on the dress code!" With that being said, Ayame burst into giggling hysterics.

The twins leaned in with a little more curiosity. "Go on..."

Ayame snapped suddenly out of his growing hysterics. "Shigure-san, allow me." Shigure waved his hand as a gesture to permit his friend's continuation. The snake-like first year rolled two strands of his long silver hair into a simple braid, his face turning eerily sober. "You see...we decided to celebrate the holidays by offering a raw, festive gift to the rest of the student body as we have done for many years. However, to commemorate our journey into adulthood with our first year of high school and all, we wished to explore our maturity and test that of others."

"So what did you do?" Hikaru asked.

Shigure slipped a hand into his pocket, pulling out a small leather wallet. He clamped a hand over his mouth against a hysterical fit of his own, snickering into his fingers. "Here." He tossed it to one of the twins.

Ayame came up behind them to peer over their shoulders. He was roughly three inches shorter than the brothers, but still he managed to catch a glimpse of the pictures. The first one was of the trio in their skimpy costumes, the one shown to their younger cousins twelve years later. The second one was priceless.

On the second picture was a three-part image. The first on the far right captured Hatori lying on the ground, snow littering his head and his speedo-clad behind. His head was turned to glare daggers at the cameraman. In the middle picture, Hatori was chasing after an equally scanty Ayame, pelting him with snow. And the third, although blurry, was clearly Hatori's face as he brutally attacked the man behind the camera, presumably Shigure.

Tears sprung from the twins eyes as they collapsed into bouts of laughter themselves. Ayame fell to the ground not far from them, also succumbed to the humor. The hearty chuckling of all four male students echoed down the empty halls through the open door.

But just a couple of feet from the door, Hachirobei-sensei stomped on her elevated heels into the room.

"I TOLD YOU BOYS TO CLEAN! WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT?" She ripped at her hair, eyes widened so angrily that you could see their sockets.

"Sensei..." Ayame giggled. He and the rest of them were so out of it that they were completely unfazed by her rage. "Tell...tell me...What was your first impression of Hatori Sohma?"

"That he's a quiet, well-behaved student! Unlike the rest of yo-HOOOO!" At that instant their literature teacher dropped to the floor in shock and hilarity, clutching her sides. Several unattractive snorts interrupted her gravelly laughter.

As it so happened, Ayame had flashed the embarrassing photo of his dear friend in her face, causing her to forget all about her frustration and start giggling like a schoolgirl.

"Would...would Hatori be upset if he knew about this?" the twins wheezed.

"Furious!" Ayame and Shigure shouted. Their hands smacked the ground as they laughed at poor, unknowing Hatori's expense.

"You...you boys understand that this would be very inappropriate to share with the other students...ruh...right?" their sensei sputtered.

"OH WELL!" they all exclaimed.

"Haa...Haa...Haa-san...has a huge arsenal of blackmail against Aaya and I...but...but if we threatened him with this picture..." Shigure didn't finish his sentence before more laughter wracked his body. He didn't really need to say any more.

_"Now I understand why the twins wouldn't take me seriously at times." A deep, slightly irritated voice broke through the image of the story until it temporarily_ faded.

...

Ayame and Shigure giggled together in the present. Hatori puffed out his next breath.

Kyo was now laughing until his sides ached, Yuki covering his mouth with a small chuckle. Momiji giggled cutely beside a silently shaking Hatsuharu, whose laughs were muted, and Tohru gazed in confusion at the doctor. If he was embarrassed he didn't show it, but he was clearly annoyed.

"He drank...so much coffee that day!" Ayame laughed. "He stayed up all night studying for our first semester exams, so he pumped his system with caffeine to compensate!"

"He thought...he thought he could control any side-effects..." Shigure breathed.

"You two were unbelievably immature to take advantage of my unnatural state," Hatori said, his voice dripping with frozen venom. However his 'friends' only laughed harder at him. "Do you know how many pictures I had to take of you to make up for that? I have a whole wallet-full of my own."

Ayame and Shigure stopped while most everyone else continued to laugh, now at their expense.

Shigure suddenly had the gall to defend himself. "Yes...but do you have any embarrassing recordings?"

Ayame's mirth returned, and they launched back into the story.

...

The boys and their sensei were still laughing uncontrollably on their hands and knees. Shigure sat back to pull out a tape from his pocket.

"This...I will forever carry with me..." he said. Everyone went silent, listening intently. There was a burst of static. Then:

"SHIGURE SOHMA, I WILL MAKE YOU REGRET THE DAY YOU WERE EVER CONCeiVED!" shouted Hatori's voice from the recording. But in the midst of the last word, the deadly serious tone cracked in the typical puberty-duration fashion.

The occupants of the classroom howled at the wavered threat. The tape ended with static-crackling laughter in the background.

_"That is so completely juvenile," the serious voice interrupted. The story once again faded briefly from everyone's imagination._

_..._

"Haa-san, where is your sense of humor?" Shigure whined.

"Lost with every single embarrassing video of you as a toddler."

Shigure cringed. "That is so cruel!"

"In any case," Ayame said. "Our side of the story at that time mostly ended with our sensei snapping out of her amusement and reinforcing her punishment over us. So, it was boring. Tori-san? Will you do the honors of sharing your side of the story?"

"Yeah...what happened in class with Haa-chan while we were gone?" Shigure asked, his tone wry. All eyes turned to look expectantly at the dragon.

"And why should I tell you after all the embarrassment you caused for me?"

"Because if you don't we'll just assume you fell in love with her and that was the end of it?" Shigure smirked.

Hatori sighed. "Very well." And he proceeded to get on with the story.

...

Hatori had been walking alongside new acquaintance Haruhi as they made their way to the next class. They themselves would be late, having spent the past fifteen minutes cleaning off in the bathrooms. The two hung back from the general cluster of their classmates, mere stragglers of the herd. Neither of them cared for the petty conversations of the other students, so they remained comfortably behind.

"I'm guessing you guys aren't here on scholarship, right?" the brown-haired boy asked.

"What makes you say that?"

"Well, to be quite honest..." Hatori assumed the boy would just mildly imply that his friends weren't quite 'smarter than the average bear'. But his following words surprised him. "The fact that Ayame and Shigure actually counter-attacked the twins, completely ignoring the lesson suggests that they're not very educationally inclined." What surprised Hatori further was that the boy's tone sounded perfectly innocent; casual, even. Absolutely no malice.

But Hatori, an appreciator of honesty, simply chuckled. "Yes, Shigure is rather lazy when it comes to homework. He usually charms his way into extensions. And Ayame sends the teacher on a wild goose chase to figure out if he really did an assignment or not."

"How so?" Haruhi glanced up at him with such big, curious eyes that for a second Hatori doubted his gender orientation.

"Hmm." Hatori pondered the question. "You really don't want to know. Ayame can be quite dangerous when he's serious about something. Then again, when he's acting serious it's usually about something utterly moronic. And when you're stupid and confident at the same time, you can scare people into siding with you. Some people have also told me that Ayame's eyes are 'hypnotic' or whatever."

"Does he ever have that effect on you?"

Hatori raised an eyebrow at him, pausing in his stride. Then he kept walking. "I've known Ayame and Shigure since we were in elementary school. Nothing either of them does can surprise me anymore, let alone their tricks." Haruhi dipped her head in understanding. She hadn't known the twins for very long, but already she could venture a guess as to what went on in their mischievous heads. Haruhi couldn't imagine what it would be like had she spent nearly a decade in their presence. She was surprised that Hatori looked as calm and composed as he did.

"I figured you might be able to pass for a scholarship student," she (or rather he, in Hatori's perspective at the time) admitted. "But since I assumed you were all related, that you all got in with money."

"Yes, that is true." Hatori didn't boast any details about the source of their income.

Haruhi seemed relieved. "The twins are pretty loaded themselves. I think that's what makes them so confident. Their mischievousness is just another thing entirely." Haruhi clasped his hands together behind his back. "I'm sorry they started something like that.

"If anything, Ayame somewhat deserved it," Hatori replied.

"Yeah, but the twins are always looking for an opportunity to ruffle peoples' feathers, especially if it involves someone arrogant." The boy didn't apologize for the blunt statement. Hatori didn't mind.

"Most people like to try and deflate Ayame's abundant ego. Unfortunately for them, it's flown too high above the atmosphere to be brought down by regular means. He avoids criticism in such a roundabout way that people usually give up, so for the time being, his arrogance is weightless."

"I'd say I can relate, but the guy I know gets shut down too easily," Haruhi mused.

Speaking like this as two similar individuals, the only responsible ones among a crowd of chaos was fairly refreshing for both of them. After getting caught up in the wake of disaster on a regular basis, it felt relaxing to swap experiences with someone who could relate. Sometimes it was nice to talk to a sane person.

"If only Ayame were like that, then he might be more bearable. But..." Hatori paused, staring down at his shoes thoughtfully. Haruhi glanced up at him. "As irritating and bothersome those types of people can be, they...kind of make life more interesting, don't they?"

Hatori looked to Haruhi, hoping that what he said didn't sound too ridiculous. That spending such inordinate amounts of time around the likes of Ayame and Shigure wasn't terribly affecting his better judgment. He wouldn't know what he'd do if he suddenly lost his sanity as well. Two crazy Sohmas were bad, but three crazy Sohmas would be too hard to handle. They could terrorize the streets and be thrown out of the country...

But only a small smile played on Haruhi's delicate facial features. His chocolate brown eyes lit up. "I think so too." Hatori raised both eyebrows as a suspicion suddenly dawned on him. Haruhi seemed oblivious to it as they kept their pace. "Until you want a moment of peace, then they really get on your nerves."

Hatori chuckled absentmindedly. "They certainly do."

_"Ooh! I just remembered something!" Ayame's adult voice cut in. "Skip back to Gure-san and me!"_

...

"Good afternoon, Ouran Academy viewers; it's a beautiful day, lots of sunshine streaming in through the windows along the west wing. The temperature still remains below zero degrees Celsius, as to be expected around this time of year. But things are just starting to heat up in Hachirobei-sensei's classroom as Hikaru Hitachiin and Shigure Sohma are lining up with their skates."

The amount of cleaning labor expected of the four boys increased significantly over the course of the day. As it so happened, their spit ball war caused massive wreckage over the large room. Hachirobei-sensei opted to instruct the rest of her classes in a substitute classroom, as Ouran was bountiful, thus leaving the quartet to their own devices. Somehow they were supposed to finish cleaning by the end of the day. But with a stroke of good fortune and the extensive imaginations of the four boys they turned it into a competition.

Shigure had sneaked out into the hallway earlier to smuggle two pairs of roller skates from one of the empty gymnasiums. He and Hikaru would race to wipe off all of the desks, apparently leaving their partners with the task of cheering them on.

"The two athletes seem pretty capable, and they're ready to go," Kaoru continued. Evidently, he'd taken it upon himself to referee the event as well as commentate.

"Goooo Gure-saaan!" Ayame cheered.

"You can do it, Hikaru!" Kaoru yelled.

Shigure and Hikaru smirked at one another, poised to race.

"Three!" Kaoru called. The skaters bent their knees.

"Two!" They lifted their rags.

"On-" They were already off.

"...Go?"

"Hey! Karu-san cheated!" Ayame complained. Kaoru glanced at him in confusion.

"Eh? What do you mean, I'm not participat-"

"Not you! _Karu_-san!" Ayame cut Kaoru off.

"I _am_ Kaoru-san!"

"Idiot! You're Aoru-san! Your brother's Karu-san!"

"Wha...ohh..." Kaoru nodded in understanding. He scratched the back of his neck. "That's going to cause some confusion, isn't it?"

"You'll get used to it," Ayame said bluntly, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Never mind, now. Go Gure-san!" He pumped his fist, leaping into the air. The would-be 'manly' gesture was spoiled by his shimmering waterfall of silver hair whipping around his head.

Meanwhile Shigure and Hikaru were skating fiercely down their second aisle, sliding their wet rags over the desks as they zipped past.

"Hikaru and Shigure are neck-in-neck. We've got a nice sparkling finish on that last desk from Hikaru and a...gleaming polish on an extra chair from Shigure." Kaoru paused. His amber eyes narrowed. "Unfortunately, no bonus points will be added to his score. Team Hikaru, for the win!" Kaoru flailed his arms above his head for emphasis.

"I have faith in you, Gure-san! Aaya's got a surprise if you finish first!" Ayame winked. Kaoru glanced fearfully at the girlish male student.

"Brotherly love with no audience is just disturbing," he muttered to himself.

Shigure grinned back at Ayame. "I'll do my best!"

"Oh brother," Hikaru muttered, slapping one of the desks with his washcloth. At this time they'd each completed all of their rows, skating around to the front of the room to face each other. Shigure raised an eyebrow at his ginger competitor. Hikaru wrinkled his nose.

"Now for the final challenge..." Kaoru declared. "Complete room disinfection. And...go!"

Shigure and Hikaru each pulled out a bottle of disinfectant spray from their pockets. Then they parted, skating swiftly around the room and releasing mists of disinfectant all over. Shigure span in circles to distribute the spray whilst Hikaru waved his hand that clenched the bottle. As soon as they deemed themselves finished, they slid at record-time to the finish: a strip of red tape on the floor.

"And...!" Kaoru tugged at his spiky hair, anticipating the results. Looking closely... "It's a tie?"

The skaters smacked abruptly into the wall.

"Gure-san!"

"Hikaru!" Ayame and Kaoru cried simultaneously. They shuffled over to their partners and bent down to check for any injuries.

"So who won?" Hikaru coughed.

"Well...it looked like a tie. You had a good start but somehow Shigure caught up," Kaoru told him.

"I know a way to tell for sure who won!" Ayame announced, releasing Shigure whom he'd been tightly embracing just moments before. His cousin plopped to the floor.

"How?" the twins asked. Ayame flipped out his camera, removing the already-developed picture from the bottom. Shigure got to his feet and joined the huddle around his friend.

"A photo finish!" the long-haired boy exclaimed. He quickly shook out the image, holding it to the light.

The twins stared. Then they sweatdropped.

"You call this a photo finish?" Hikaru demanded.

"I call this the front cover for the next Playboy magazine," Kaoru added. The picture displayed Ayame in a rather provocative pose, his lips pouted and one of his golden eyes winked. Shigure grinned.

"You should mail that one to them."

"ALL RIGHT!" they exclaimed with their signature 'thumbs up'. The twins sighed.

"Well, at least the room's clean," Kaoru said. The rest of them turned to take a look. His statement was true. The entire classroom sparkled.

"We're probably late for club activities, though," Hikaru grumbled. "Tono's gonna freak."

Shigure perked up. "What club activities?" Ayame glanced curiously at them as well.

The twins slowly turned to each other. Their mirrored grins were distinct signs of the devils they were. Hikaru draped an arm over his brother's shoulders.

"Oh, you know..." he drawled.

"The usual..." Kaoru continued, picking up on his brother's unfinished sentence.

"The Host Club," they chorused. Random sparkles glimmered around the two as their topaz eyes gleamed. Shigure raised a questioning eyebrow.

"Go on..."

...

Hatori slammed his locker shut.

"No. Absolutely not."

"But Tori-san!"

"It'll be fun!" Hatori stared at them blankly. He glowered.

"...No. I refuse."

The end of the day had arrived quickly for Shigure and Ayame, for they had been excused from all classes since that morning. The day had gone at a fairly regular pace for Hatori, who was free to give his full concentration during school without any excess stress. But now the afternoon seemed to slam the breaks.

"Tori-san, I don't believe you understand the merits of our dropping by," Ayame insisted. "We haven't heard of such a brilliant idea before and I am astonished that we'd never considered it. This could really be great!"

"Do you realize how disturbing an idea for a club like that is? How much of an S&M freak the guy who came up with it had to be?" Hatori shook his head, shuddering at the thought.

"Hikaru and Kaoru are in it," Shigure protested. "It can't be that bad." Hatori's eye twitched.

"You mean those eerie twins who have a never-ending mind-link and the very ones who started a spit ball war with you?"

"Hey, we called a truce!" Shigure defended.

"And their unison is all part of their brotherly love act!" Ayame added. Hatori sweatdropped.

Ayame and Shigure continued to rant on about the greatness of the amazing club, but the disturbing thought they'd lodged into Hatori's brain kept repeating itself in his head.

"Brotherly love...?" he mumbled, eyes widening slightly. His friends' rambling droned away, only small tidbits of their defense being caught by Hatori's ears. _And they have tea and cake..._ 'They get to flirt with pretty high school girls all afternoon!' _There's a Boy-Lolita... _'They get to flirt with pretty high school girls all afternoon!'

Hatori was still deeply perturbed, doing the math in his head. "That would mean...incest...and...they have the same blood...and the same genes..." _We get to dress up in cosplay! _'They get to entertain and seduce pretty rich high school girls!' _This is my opportunity to try my hands at sewing! _'Haa-san! The **high school** girls!' "They're directly related...identical..."

"HATORII!" his cousins shouted.

By now Hatori had slumped to the ground in a heap, evidently passed out from the taboo and cultural shock. Ayame and Shigure knelt down beside him, purposely ignoring their friend's unconscious state and ranting endlessly.

"They each get their own title, Tori-san!" Ayame exclaimed excitedly.

"This'll really set us apart from the crowd!" Shigure added with equal excitement.

"Tori-san, don't you think I'd look good in their cosplay? Come on, be honest."

"There's even a scholarship student in the club! A _scholarship_ student! There has got to be some educational value in there."

Eventually their annoying voices pierced through Hatori's subconsciousness and he came to. He woke up to the bright and bulging faces of his cousins, which deformed tremendously in the bleariness of his tired eyes. Ayame and Shigure's faces seemed to merge, the motion of their mouths and the words that came from them stuck in slow-motion. Their eyes span in circles around their morphing heads.

_Escape..._ was the only conceivable thought on Hatori's mind. _I need to escape...Run...far away!_ In a split second gone unnoticed by Ayame and Shigure, Hatori got up and bolted out of their sight.

The two friends almost continued rambling until they were jolted out of their daze.

"Hey, where'd Haa-san go?" Shigure asked with a look of puzzlement.

"Tori-san!" Ayame called, cupping his mouth to project his already booming voice across the hall. "Are you playing hide-and-seek again?" They got to their feet as well, Ayame brushing off his uniform.

They started walking. Shigure whistled for their friend, Ayame still yelling for his return.

"If I were a seahorse..." Shigure drawled, crossing his arms. Ayame giggled. "Where would I be headed?"

"Don't they live in the warm ocean waters down south?" Ayame chirped. Shigure grinned.

"Good thinking, Aaya! Let's check out the south building."

"And while we're at it...don't seahorses generically live in shallow water?"

"Which means they live close to the surface..."

"Which means he could be headed for the top floor."

"And they live secluded lives tucked away in the corral reefs."

"Which means he'd aim for the quietest room possible." Shigure pulled out a map from his jacket pocket. He and Ayame stood there, engrossed in the detailed diagram. Ayame jabbed a finger at a spot on the page.

"An abandoned music room!" exclaimed Shigure in the typical 'eureka!' fashion. "Or rather _the_ abandoned music room. You're brilliant, my wonderful Aaya."

Ayame sighed hyperbolically. "I know!"

As they jogged over to the southward end of the academy's campus, they awaited destiny with eager mind sets. For so it's been said, the universe has an interesting way of placing certain characters in definitive loops...

...

Contrary to his friends' elaborate beliefs, in reality Hatori was running blindly. He didn't think about where he was headed. He just needed to leave.

_I knew Ayame and Shigure were insane, but I didn't think they'd be that crazy. A host club? Then again, the more I think about it, it _is _right up their alley..._

Hatori made his way through the top floor of the south wing at a slowing pace. He took a short break and leaned against a wall with one hand, holding his head with the other. His escape would be to no avail. Ayame and Shigure would surely find him. He proved himself correct at the sound of a shrill cry around the corner.

"TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORI-SAAN!"

_Oh no._

"OHH, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ..." The voice gasped for breath. Clearing its throat, it continued. "-RI-SAAAN."

_God no._

Hatori booked it down the hall. _Damnit. A dead-end. Maybe if I go back for that janitor's closet?_

"Hey, Aaya, I hear footsteps!"

_Too late._ He'd have to go for one of the side entrances.

Ripping a pair of heavy double doors open, the panting student leaped inside, slamming them closed behind him. He clutched the handle for a moment, ignoring the distinct smell of roses flushing over his senses and the soft touch of petals showering over his tall frame. His back faced the rest of the room as he slid against the door to the floor.

"Welcome." A collective of voices startled the boy.

And as he slowly turned his head, the sight that beheld him was enough sudden trauma for poor Hatori Sohma to once again lose consciousness.

_"And so ended whatever might have been left of my childhood innocence."_

**Ada: Alright, now we've dragged in the twins to plead in our defense.**

**Hikaru: What the hell...?**

**Ada & Bro: LANGUAGE, HIKA-CHAN!**

**Hikaru: *twitch***

**Bro: *raises fist* NOW TELL 'EM!**

**Hikaru & Kaoru: *sweatdrop* Ada and Bro do not own Ouran Highschool Host Club or Fruits Basket. And if they did, we would hang ourselves.**

**Bro: *chases after twins***

**Ada: 0.0' We also do not own and have never, EVER wished to own Playboy magazine. So they can keep their dirty copyright.**

**Ada & Bro: Thanks for reading! Remember to review!**


	3. Open for Business

**A/N -**

**Ada: Hey guys! We finally updated! WHOO US! So we're ready with the next installment (I like that word) of _The Mabudachi Style!_ I have to say it was really fun writing this but I really hope you all like it more.**

**Bro: ****Hope you enjoyed our last chapter and seeing the reviews I guess we did a pretty good job, Ada. You will probably enjoy this chapter more than the last. Have fun. Byee. ****P.S. if you don't like it I will beat you up...in a dark alley...with a crowbar...with no witnesses. Just kidding. Ada will pay if you don't like it.**

**Ada: *gulp* _She's still going with the aggressive advertising strategy..._u_u' Please enjoy...for my sake...also, individual thank you's for our lovely reviewers will be at the bottom this time while our disclaimer will be at the top. Make sure to catch your username! Ayame?**

**Ayame: I'm sorry, I don't understand the script...what was my role supposed to represent?**

**Ada: The fact that we don't own you. Now go?**

**Ayame: HMMPH! I am sincerely grateful that the two of you don't own me or the franchise (Fruits Basket) I belong to in any way! And for Karu-san and Aoru-san's sake I'm glad you don't own Ouran Highschool Host Club either!**

**Ada: And scene! But why does every character have to hate on us? o.o'**

**Bro: *chases after Ayame***

**Ada: This chapter has a slightly higher rating but only due to Shigure's one teenage-mouthed word-slip. And now you may read.**

**Chapter Three**

On the top floor of the south building, at the end of the north corridor, seven Amazon explorers crouched around a fallen boy.

"❀Is he going to be okay~?❀" asked a sweet, childlike voice.

"I'm not quite sure," replied a soft and gentle one. Scratch that. It lost its touch with its next desperate and painfully high-pitched tone. "Speak to me, dead soldier!"

"If he were dead, he wouldn't be able to speak to you," a flatter voice reasoned. "And I doubt he is dead, but if you keep thrashing him around by the shoulders like that he could get a serious headache."

The once gentle voice let out a whimper. "Mommy, our daughter's being mean!"

"No, I believe she is simply telling you the truth," a deeper voice responded.

There was a shuffling sound and no response from the bipolar voice could be heard. However there was a distinct smell of mushrooms.

The boy on the ground - we know him to be Hatori - awoke to the powerful scent of bath salts and all of these voices buzzing around in his ears. His eyes squinted open. The image above him was blurry, but he could make out around six heads gazing down at him. This intense variety of colours made his eyes hurt.

"Oh, he's awake," the flat voice announced. It was oddly familiar.

"❀Ya~y!❀" the young voice exclaimed. Hatori could see two large brown circles gazing down at him, blocking the rest of the group from his vision. "❀Hi there!❀"

"Mitsukuni." The brown circles withdrew at the sound of the deepest voice in the huddle.

"Where..." Hatori began. "Where am I?" He winced as a flash of bright yellow and violet entered the scene.

"You are in the presence of the prestigious host club, my boy!" Apparently the noisy voice had returned. Hatori froze.

"Host club...?" The blonde blob ignored his wariness and continued to rant.

"My name is Tamaki Suoh, president of this fine establishment. Here at the Ouran High School Host Club, we young men with plenty of leisurely time on our hands entertain young ladies who also have a lot of time on their hands. Our main priority is to keep our lovely guests happy and entertained." The blob made a dramatic gesture that Hatori had trouble deciphering. The first year sweatdropped. _So _he's_ the S&M freak who came up with this club...and he sounds so similar to..._ Hatori tuned back into the annoying rant just to catch the point. "I haven't seen you around here before. Are you new to the school?"

"He's in our class, Milord." There - more familiar voices. A unison of two people speaking together. "He came with these two other guys who are pretty cool, the ones we had a spit ball war with. This guy _seems _pretty serious and quiet at first glance, but we know better." They snickered. Hatori became alarmed.

"Well, what is his name?" the blonde asked.

"Humm...started with an 'H'-something..."

"Hatori Sohma," the flat voice stated automatically. Hatori rubbed at his eyes with his fists. All of this conversation was very suspicious. He needed to properly see what disaster he faced.

Glancing around at the huddle, Hatori was able to size each of them up. It included the blonde with violet eyes, a boy with glasses, the twins from his class, a shorter blonde with brown circles - eyes, actually - beside a much taller, darker boy, and Haruhi. The _girl_ whom he had made an acquaintance.

"You've talked to the guy?" a twin on Hatori's right asked.

"Well, yeah. His friends were in detention with you guys and somebody had to show him around."

"He's a Sohma, you say?" Hatori glanced at the boy with glasses, flipping through several pages in his notebook. "Ah, yes. One of the most rich and powerful families in the whole of Japan, alongside the Ootori family. Their success and impact comes from the fact that they are very large. Hatori himself is the son of the family head's doctor."

Hatori stared evenly at the other boy. "How did you know that?" He only pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose as a reply.

"Hatori's companions are sons of other powerful and moderately powerful people. Ayame's mother is the wife of a CEO, a business partner of the Ootori family and Shigure's parents are in the editing business."

Hatori felt a little wary. This guy hadn't even met his wild cousins and yet he knew so much about them already. Just how much was possible to uncover about the Sohma family? Hatori inwardly feared that this strange all-knowing boy would be able to uncover his clan's greatest secret: the Juunishi curse. But it couldn't happen. He didn't know how they did it, but Hatori's father and God managed to keep everything extremely tight-lipped.

"What else have you discovered about us?" Hatori asked calmly. The glasses-wearing boy stared intently at him for any signs of discomfort, but having not been brought up in a warm home life Hatori was known to keep a cool demeanor.

"Hmm." It was almost a chuckle. "Not much, surprisingly. However I do know the reason you and your cousins transferred yourselves to this school." Hatori arched an eyebrow. He rarely got embarrassed, but he would have preferred that no one knew of his so-called 'friends' scandalous scene. "The three of you enrolled in Ariwara Private High School for boys until the 16th of December, thereof which you were promptly expelled." The boy's notebook snapped shut.

Hatori stared. _This guy's dangerous. We'll have to be careful around him._

Everyone else fell silent on account of shock. Everyone except for the two laughing twins.

"Hatori, you were really expelled?" Haruhi asked. Her eyes had widened considerably. Hatori glanced at her, nodding.

"How?" Tamaki asked, eyes also widened in concern. The dark boy with glasses beamed at Hatori.

"I'm sure he won't mind explaining it, will he?"

Hatori didn't trust that smile. He began rubbing at his temples, feeling a migraine coming on. "My 'friends' dragged me into one of their useless schemes."

"Yeah, they made him dance around in a speedo!" the twins exclaimed, briefly pausing in their laughter. Hatori turned his head to look at them.

"How did you know about _that_?" he asked.

"Shigure showed us a picture."

"Of course he did..." Hatori muttered. "That bothersome dog..."

"You mean 'son of a bitch'?" The twins grinned at him. He blinked.

"Well, it's more like _he's _the bitch." He sighed. "Regrettably, I admit that it was partially my fault. I downed too much coffee that morning, rendering myself vulnerable to Ayame and Shigure's persuasion. So, we were expelled. And now we're here."

Hatori dragged a hand through his short dark hair, his bangs falling on either side of his forehead in a part down the middle. Suddenly he stared in confusion at the group before him. Each of them wore the same pale brown denim uniform with safari-type hats of a matching colour. Even a pair of sleek black binoculars hung around Tamaki's neck.

"Why are you all dressed like that?"

Tamaki grinned from ear-to-ear, the sight of him flooded with pink shoujo manga bubbles. "I am so glad you asked!" he exclaimed, rising to his feet.

"Now I wish I hadn't," Hatori muttered. _Yes, he definitely reminds me of someone now._

"See, as our main priority is to entertain our beloved guests, we have taken up cosplaying upon the opening of the host club as our second-best attraction."

"What's the first-best attraction?" Hatori asked, fearful of the answer.

Tamaki sighed dramatically, flipping his golden hair. "Our remarkably good looks." They all gazed suggestively at the poor serious student. All but Haruhi, of course, who just blinked.

"Huh. I see." Several sweatdrops slid off the side of Hatori's head. He turned to glance at an unseen audience. "Can you believe this guy?"

"Now, my dear boy! It is time to discuss your area of preference!" Tamaki declared, grasping Hatori by the shoulders.

"My area of...preference?"

"Why yes! You obviously seeked the carefree refuge of our divine club as your way of _coming out_. We must say, we've never received a male guest before."

With an illusioned thunder clap, an angry mark appeared on Hatori's temple.

"But Boss, what if he's actually a girl in disguise?" the twin on the right of him asked.

"A valid point, Kaoru!" Tamaki remarked. The twin blinked.

"It's Hikaru."

"Oh..."

"But let's check!" the other twin, Hatori assumed to be the real Kaoru decided. As they approached him with malicious outstretched fingers he slammed their hands down away from him.

"I can assure you I'm quite male," he insisted with a huff.

"Then you really do feel that way towards the same sex!" Tamaki exclaimed. "Come on, no need to be shy! I shall present to you our current types: Mitsukuni Haninozuka, or Honey-sempai, the Boy-Lolita..." The undersized blonde with sugary brown eyes waved in genuine enthusiasm. _Honey-_sempai_? He's an older student?_ "The stoic type, Takashi Morinozuka, or Mori-sempai..." The tallest boy in the room, taller than Hatori grunted. _At least he makes sense. But come to think of it, he hasn't really spoken all that much._ "Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, the mischievous forbidden love type..." The twins smirked at Hatori, their fingers entwined. _Hmm._ _I can see why Ayame and Shigure wanted to befriend them._ "Haruhi Fujioka, The Natural..." Haruhi just blinked at him again.

"Hello Hatori," she said plainly.

"Hi," Hatori replied, his head dipped and his angry mark growing bigger by the second. _But why is _she_ in this club? I wondered why she was dressed as a boy, but, even so, she just doesn't seem like someone who would..._

"Kyoya Ootori, the cool type..." Tamaki continued, oblivious to their small interaction. The boy with glasses smirked, well, _coolly_ at Hatori, in the midst of taking notes. _Still have to watch out for him._ "And then there's _me_. The princely type." There were those shoujo bubbles again.

Hatori puffed out a breath. _I escape Ayame and Shigure for this? This is _triple _the trouble. Plus this guy _still _sounds so similar to..._ Hatori shuddered.

"So, which one of us suits your fancy?" Tamaki lounged back on the couch with a kingly smile. The club seemed to form a perfect tableaux, with everyone sitting specifically around their president in casual positions. Haruhi was the only one out of place, standing off to the side with her hands at her sides.

_At the moment, the door seems the most tempting..._ Hatori thought, backing away slightly.

"Sempai, has it occurred to you that he just got lost around the school?" Haruhi finally asked, shooting a glance at the blonde 'prince'.

Hatori was still edging his way to the door. "It's fine, Haruhi, I was actually just leavii-" It slammed open. And Hatori's face met with the hard tile.

"TAA-DAA!" a familiar dramatic voice rang out. Two new figures had entered the room, one with luscious silver tresses and the other with messy black hair. _Damn._

"It's Ayame and Shigure!" the twins exclaimed, hurrying over. They paid no heed as they walked _across_ rather than around the once-again fallen Hatori. He winced at the crunching sound his back made when they stepped on it.

"Karu-san and Aoru-san!" Ayame exclaimed gleefully. "We expected we'd find you here!"

"Shucks, you guys came looking for us?" The twins grinned bashfully.

"This is the friendliest I've ever seen these two," Haruhi mused.

"But of course we have to be polite to these two," Hikaru replied, wrapping an arm around Haruhi.

"They're the first ones to match us at our own game," Kaoru explained, wrapping an arm around Haruhi on her other side.

"A prankster's truce is a prankster's truce," they declared in unison.

Ayame and Shigure beamed.

"We were really here to find Haa-san, though," Shigure admitted.

"Now where could he be?" Ayame wondered aloud. He whirled around to find the 'missing' boy attempting a crawl away from the scene.

"TORI-SAN!"

"HAA-SAN!"

They grabbed their friend forcefully to cuddle him. Ayame pinched his cheeks while Shigure ruffled his hair.

"We were so worried with you wandering off on your own like that," Shigure cooed.

"It took all of our effort to find you. You naughty boy, sneaking off to the host club. You just wanted some entertainment, ne?" Ayame chided.

"I wanted nothing of the sort," Hatori growled, pushing his cousins away. "I never even meant to come here."

"You can say that again," Haruhi mumbled. Hatori blinked.

"I never even meant to come here." Haruhi stared at him in confusion.

"Oh Haa-san! Always taking things literally," Shigure teased.

"So, what are the club's operations?" Ayame asked, gazing around at the room. He in particular eyed everyone's get-ups.

"Well, first of all, allow me to introduce-" Tamaki began, coming up in front of the twins. They shoved him aside.

"Well, you see, we basically dress up in different themes every day, and we show the ladies a good time," Hikaru and Kaoru cut him off. Tamaki's mouth remained gaped wide open with his denied speech. "We each have our own types. There's us, with our brotherly love..." The twins shared a romantic pose that if you were to blink would be missed. Hatori cringed. He was used to Ayame and Shigure's acts of love, and although they were also disturbing, they probably had no discernible blood relations. Plus he knew for a fact that they just did it to boggle peoples' minds. He didn't know about these Hitachiins, but either way the idea of two brothers together like that was just wrong.

"There's Honey-sempai, he's...cute," said Hikaru. The tiny blonde beamed.

"Mori-sempai, he's...quiet," said Kaoru. "Haruhi's the _Natural_." The tall boy and the feminine 'boy' each said and did nothing.

"Kyoya-sempai's...well, he's cool, I guess." Hikaru's voice dropped to a whisper. "_Scary._"

"And the guy catching flies over here is Tono!" they both declared, throwing their arms around the still-slack-jawed blonde. "He's the club's president. Kyoya's the vice." Tamaki's knees buckled and were clutched to his chest in the fetal position.

Shigure grinned. "Cool!"

"MOMMY!" Tamaki wailed. "The twins stole my lines! And what's worse is that they twisted them!" He continued to sob. Then he choked. "And...I-I think I swallowed a fly!"

"Called it!" the twins both exclaimed.

"Well, I certainly hope you're not looking forward to a good night's kiss, Daddy," Kyoya deadpanned. Hatori twitched.

"Mommy...daddy?"

"❀Ah, Hato-chan!❀" Hatori turned to look down at Honey. He tugged at the hem of his jacket with innocent eyes.

"Hato-chan...?" Hatori murmured. He shrugged it off and knelt down to the third year's height. "What is it, Honey-sempai?" Honey grinned happily.

"❀Would you like to eat some cake with me?❀" Hatori blinked.

"Cake?" _Are they sure he's an upperclassman?_

"❀Yeah! Aaya-chan, Shii-chan - you too!❀" Honey hurried over to where the two other Sohmas conversed with the twins, grabbing them by their hands. He pulled them over to the table where a variety of sweets spread out before them.

Hatori lifted a chocolate truffle from the bunch.

"What is this, Honey-sempai?" Shigure asked, also picking up another chocolate dessert.

"❀They're called brigadeiros,❀" Honey replied, popping one into his mouth. "❀The Amazon rainforest is in Brazil, so Kyo-chan ordered in some Brazilian desserts.❀" Shigure popped one into his mouth as well.

"Hmm, this is good," he remarked. "Try it, Aaya."

Ayame took a tentative nibble. His golden eyes widened. "This is amazing!" He stuffed several more into his mouth. Somehow he managed to do it without getting any chocolate smeared over his face like Honey did. Hatori still inspected the treat in his fingers.

"❀Try it, Hato-chan!❀" Honey insisted. "❀You don't taste sweets by looking at them.❀" Hatori shrugged, biting half of the truffle. He chewed slowly. Ayame, Shigure, and especially Honey watched him in nail-biting expectation. Hatori almost never ate sweets unless prodded by his intervening cousins. He didn't dislike them, but unlike many people he never found comfort in simply eating a sugary treat.

Hatori swallowed. "It's...an interesting flavor." Ayame and Shigure gave each other a 'thumbs up'.

"❀So you li~ke it?❀" Honey asked. His head turned to glance back at Mori, who stood silently at the back of the couch. "❀Isn't it great, Takashi? Finally Hato-chan seems to be having fun.❀"

"Yeah," Mori replied.

Hatori blinked at Honey's warm smile. Very few people in his life had ever shown the slightest bit of concern for whether he was enjoying himself or not. Besides Ayame and Shigure of course. They wanted him to have a good time, although they didn't take into account the things he considered 'fun'. Because for Hatori, 'fun' was apparently 'boring'.

Watching this situation from the sidelines where he often preferred to remain stood vice president Kyoya Ootori. He was scribbling fiercely into his black book that possibly not even God would read into. Haruhi stood next to him, occasionally trying to peer over to see what had piked his interest. However he was too tall for her to chance a glance and usually turned away.

"Kyoya-sempai," she tried. "Are you intrigued by the new students?"

"Rather I'm wondering what to do with them. Our clients will be here in half an hour and we can't have three rival men stealing their attention. It's not good for business."

"Of course it isn't," Haruhi mumbled, her shoulders slumping forward. "But I don't think you'll have a problem with Hatori. He obviously wants nothing to do with this place."

"We might not have a direct problem with him, but our customers could still fall for him regardless. Which is why...Tamaki, should we consider inviting them to join the club?"

Tamaki shot up out of his mushroom-infested gloom corner. "But of course! The more the merrier, I say. Hitachiin twins!"

The twins dashed over, holding their hands to their foreheads in a salute. "Yes, Milord?"

"Give our new hosts a once-over. Make sure they check out to all of the requirements."

A dark lightning bolt crashed into the room, emitted from the fierceness of the glare Hatori directed at the blonde. "What do you mean, 'new hosts'?" he demanded.

Tamaki and the twins huddled into the wall. "Wah, Hatori scary!"

"We're hosts now?!" Ayame and Shigure exclaimed.

"If you so desire," Kyoya replied. But the gleam behind his glasses left no room for argument.

"YAYAYAY!" The two cousins span around the room together holding hands. Hatori separated them with one swift chop. "OWOWOW!"

"Just when exactly did we ever agree to this?" he hissed at Kyoya. The chilling vice president was unfazed.

"Well, you all seemed to be fitting in nicely. I thought you wouldn't hesitate to take us up on this offer."

"You thought wrong. There is no way that I am joining a club as degrading as this one."

"Degrading?" Tamaki cried. An arrow shot through his chest with the word written over it. He teetered back on his heels. "That's so mean!"

"❀Hato-chan, we don't degrade the ladies here,❀" Honey said softly. Tears began to form in those sweet brown eyes of his.

"Un," Mori added in his monotonous voice, patting Honey's head for comfort.

"Ayame, Shigure and I have a strict reason for why we are incapable of entertaining girls." Hatori raised an eyebrow at his cousins, giving them a pointed look.

The room fell silent.

Hikaru's cough broke it. "So..."

His twin joined him. "You're gay?"

Everyone sweatdropped a little. Hatori twitched, that angry mark appearing on his temple again.

"No," he said through gritted teeth.

The twins tapped their chins. Then they snapped their fingers. "You're infertile?"

This time even Hatori sweatdropped.

"Just what exactly do you do at this host club anyways?" he muttered.

"We told you!" Tamaki declared, rising to his feet again with newfound confidence. "We charm the ladies."

"So it does involve ladies," Hatori said bluntly.

"Haa-san..." Shigure murmured quietly. "It's...okay. As long as nobody hugs us."

"So you _are_ gay?" the twins pressed, their keen mischievous ears not missing a single catch.

"No!" Hatori yelled, spinning on his heel to face them. They trembled under his glare. "Do you both think you're a couple of fine ones to talk? Aren't you seen as being involved in an incestuous homosexual relationship?" Hatori didn't usually lose his cool. But if these cynical twins thought that they could belittle him like this in such a hypocritical way...

"Wah, Tori-san!" Ayame protested. He grabbed one of his arms to hold him back. "They were just asking!"

"Haa-san, there's no need to lose your temper!" Mock tears of grief streamed down Shigure's face.

"Becoming a host does not necessarily mean that you would be hugged," Kyoya interjected with an adjustment of his glasses. "If that is what you are concerned about. And you do not have to be heterosexual. Or, at least, you don't have to appear that way." His dark eyes eyed the smirking twins. Hatori twitched. The four red corresponding marks on his forehead refused to shrink.

"Just give it a chance, Tori-san!" Ayame begged, latching onto Hatori's leg.

"We promise we'll behave ourselves!" Shigure added, pinning down Hatori's other leg with his own weight.

"There goes the 'mischievous' type," the twins commented to each other. "Tch, what a shame."

"❀Hato-chan, I promise we'll give you lots of brigadeiros if you stay!❀" Honey declared seriously, smacking his palm with his small fist in determination.

_Since when did it become my favourite treat to be bribed with?_ Hatori wondered.

"Hatori, we promise you won't regret it if you join our humble family," Tamaki insisted. His lower lip stuck out in a pout.

_Humble?_ Hatori wondered again. _Alright, I need to get out of here. These guys are out of their minds._

Hatori took a deep breath to calm his nerves. "I'm sorry, but due to a serious family issue, my cousins and I really should not be taking risks. Ayame and Shigure would be wise to consider that as well." Hatori ripped off his friends' hold on his ankles, backing away.

"Ah, you shouldn't have to feel obligated to join anyway," Haruhi cut in for the first time in several minutes. Hatori's eyes widened, trying to stop his feet but he backed right into _her_.

_Why me?_

With a puff of smoke, the boy vanished from sight. To be replaced by a pile of his empty clothes.

"Oh, shit..." Shigure murmured. Ayame sat up next to him on the ground, fidgeting.

Everyone blinked.

"What just happened?" the ginger twins asked. Tamaki stumbled forward onto his knees.

"A...a SEAHORSE!" he shouted, pointing dramatically at the small sea creature nestled in the cloth by Haruhi's feet. "HE TURNED INTO A SEAHORSE!"

"Can't escape the imagination of an idiot," Shigure whispered to Ayame. The silver-haired boy nodded.

"There's really nothing to be done about that," he whispered back.

The whole club broke into a panic.

"AH, WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!" the twins yelled, running in circles.

"THIS IS INHUMAN! PEOPLE ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TRANSFORM INTO FISH!" Tamaki screeched, ripping at his blonde hair.

"❀Does that mean Hato-chan has a hex?❀" Honey cried. "❀WAH! HATO-CHAN HAS A HEX!❀" The small boy sniffled into Mori's shoulder.

"He's a seahorse," Mori grunted.

"Oh my, this is an interesting development," Kyoya remarked.

"NEKOZAWA-SEMPAI MUST HAVE HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT!" the twins shouted.

"❀Would Neko-chan really put a hex on Hato-chan?❀" Honey sobbed.

Meanwhile Haruhi sat rather dumbfounded on the floor. "Well, that was kind of weird," she murmured to herself. She noticed the seahorse squirming on the ground in front of her, its beady eye staring at her helplessly. The cross-dresser pursed her lips. "Oh, that's right...Guys? Don't you think we should get him in some water?"

The hysterical club froze in their hilarious positions. Then Tamaki's figure shook, seemingly breaking out of its ice.

"BUT WHAT KIND?!" he screeched.

"DOES HE NEED FRESHWATER OR SEAWATER?!" the twins exclaimed, also smashing out of their frozen states.

"❀Hato-chan, speak to us!❀" Honey wailed. Everyone returned to their panicking state, except for Kyoya, writing quickly in his notebook about this sudden development, Ayame and Shigure who quietly debated their options, and Mori, although a slight sweatdrop of anxiety also formed on his brow.

Haruhi grumbled to herself, picking up the damn thing. "I guess if everyone else is so busy, I'll have to do it myself." Being the scholarly student she was, Haruhi knew that unique fish like seahorses were normally located in tropical oceans, which, of course, had lots of salt.

The girl got to work getting a bowl from the table and emptying it out in the sink. She refilled it with regular tap water, now faced with the task of finding salt. Hatori's strange form wriggled furiously in her grasp.

"What's wrong?" she asked of it. "Wait, why am I talking to an animal...?" Then she realized the problem. She was squeezing the poor thing to death. Haruhi loosened her grip and 'Hatori' almost seemed to gasp. "Sorry."

Haruhi soon found a salt shaker on the table where the food (the regular food, not Honey's sweets) was laid out. It spun around in her fingers as she considered her next decision.

"Ah, now how much do I put?" Haruhi voiced her musings. Meanwhile as she contemplated the amount, the rest of the club remained in their frenzy.

"HOW WERE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT HE TURNED INTO A FREAKING SEAHORSE!" Tamaki demanded of nobody in particular.

"THAT'S SOMETHING NOBODY CAN PREDICT!" the twins agreed.

"...and then once we make a mad dash for the highway, we'll bring him to those big tanks at the zoo-" Ayame planned.

"Nuh-uh. Not enough time for that; he'll have changed back by then," Shigure argued.

"Hmm...I think that should do it." Haruhi beamed, satisfied with her work. The bowl of water now contained two thirds salt and one third water. The female host narrowed her eyes at the layering. "Right, I need to stir." With the golden seahorse still in the bowl, Haruhi worked hard to dissolve the salt into the water. Hatori seemed to stare at her in exasperation.

_It's like she's making me into a soup,_ he thought. Shigure sighed from where he sat.

"It's no use, Aaya," he whispered. "We'll have to tell them."

"Tori-san won't be pleased..."

"_Haa-san _was the one who bumped into a girl in the first place."

"Oh, how could anyone have seen the difference?" Ayame snorted.

Shigure just shrugged and got to his feet. "Alright, host club! There is something that Aaya and I have to confess."

The others briefly paused in their worrying. Haruhi stopped stirring, the seahorse spinning around the bowl as a result.

Shigure clapped his hands. "This is going to sound very strange to all of you, but you mustn't tell _anyone_." They wondered what it could possibly be to make the two boisterous Sohmas become so serious. It probably had to do with the fact that their friend was now about less than an inch in length and not human.

"Gure-san, Tori-san and I, as well as several other members in our family were born...under a curse," Ayame admitted, wasting no time in his confession. Uninterrupted silence sank over the rest of them.

"The curse is called the Juunishi curse. It entails that twelve members of our family per generation are meant to transform into the twelve animals of the Chinese Zodiac when our bodies undergo a great deal of stress or especially when embraced by the opposite sex."

"For whatever reason, this also applies to a thirteenth member of the family, who is to be born as the extra cat that never officially joined our ranks."

"I myself am the Dog." Shigure gestured to himself. "Aaya is the Snake, and Haa-san, surprisingly, is the Dragon." He then gestured to each of them in turn, smirking at Hatori's pathetic transformed state.

The host club glanced back at the seahorse in the bowl.

"But...he's a seahorse," Tamaki stated hesitantly.

"Is he supposed to grow into a dragon out of the blue?" Hikaru asked.

"That would be so awesome!" Kaoru exclaimed.

Ayame and Shigure snickered.

"As it happens, instead of Hatori turning into a dragon, he turns into its bastard child, the seahorse," Ayame explained. Hatori writhed angrily in his bowl.

"Huh. That sucks," the twins said without sympathy.

"But he's developed a complex about it over the years, so shh." Shigure put a finger to his lips, winking.

"❀So Aaya-chan and Shii-chan turn into animals too?❀" Honey asked with a cute head-tilt. Ayame and Shigure nodded. The host club exchanged glances.

"THAT IS SO COOL!" they exclaimed, raising their thumbs. Even Mori simply raised a thumb, his face blank, while Kyoya continued to just observe. Haruhi went back to stirring when she noticed the salt settling at the bottom of the bowl.

Shigure smiled almost sadly. "As cool as it may sound, you can't tell anyone. The head of our family has ordered us to keep mum about it." Tamaki leaped forward.

"But of course we can keep a secret!" the blonde declared. "No one shall ever find out! Oh, but this is so tragic! Not being able to hold the ones you love, forced to restrain yourselves for fear of tragic rejection. Well you need not fret over our knowledge of this unfortunate incident! Right, everyone?"

"RIGHT!" Honey and the twins shouted seriously.

"Right," Mori said afterwards.

"I can keep a secret," Haruhi promised from the back of the room. The only girl smiled her sweet, feminine smile that lit up her chocolate brown eyes. Tamaki, Hikaru, and Kaoru froze.

"WAAH! HARUHI IS SO KAWAII! KAWAII HARUHI!" In a split second they had her surrounded, cuddling her with deep affection.

"LAY OFF ME!" Haruhi protested. Kyoya snapped his notebook shut again.

"The question is..." His chilling voice sliced through the chaos. "How much will you profit us to keep our mouths shut?"

"Kyoya?" Tamaki started.

"Who's to say we wouldn't benefit from revealing such a shocking secret about one of the most successful families?"

_Pop!_

"Because if you keep quiet about our secret..."

Haruhi squeaked, jumping onto the couch and burying her face into its cushions. Everybody else leaped back three feet with their hands covering their eyes.

Hatori sat perched on top of the bowl of heavily salted water, drenched unceremoniously with its contents. And it is safe to say that he was utterly lacking in the clothing department at that moment.

"...we will join your...'host club'." The studious yet naked boy muttered the last few words in disgust. Ayame and Shigure rejoiced.

"TORI/HAA-SAN!" they exclaimed.

"Don't you dare come near me while I'm undressed." So the two just smiled, tossing their friend his crumpled uniform. The rest of them turned away politely.

"We probably should have mentioned that when we change back, we're naked," Shigure laughed nervously.

"And for future reference, Haruhi," Hatori added; "a regular seahorse would have died from that much concentration of salt."

Haruhi scratched the back of her neck. "Heh. I wasn't sure..."

"Then it's settled," Kyoya interrupted. Pulling out his notebook, he continued. "The three of you are now officially open for business." Ayame and Shigure cheered while Hatori nodded, slipping on his pants. His affirmation was reluctant but his gaze was even. Hikaru nudged his brother in the ribs. Kaoru grinned.

"At least now we know he's a boy," they remarked in unison.

Hatori glared as he reached for his shirt. His stomach was filled with dread (and brigadeiros). He hid it with ease, but the dragon was deeply afraid of what he might have gotten himself into.

"And we also know that Haruhi's a girl," Shigure countered. They froze.

"It's okay," Haruhi mumbled. "They're part of the host club now. And since we know something major about them, it's only fair that they know something about us." She sighed. "I broke a vase. Can't afford to pay for it. So now I work as a host to pay off my debt. It's either that or I become their errand dog."

"Now it makes sense," Hatori mumbled. By this time all he had to do was fix his tie.

"I'm surprised Haa-san didn't realize that Haa-chan was a girl," Shigure commented. "Aaya can't be bothered with matters that don't concern himself but Haa-san usually picks up on these things."

"Haa-chan?" Haruhi grumbled.

"I did realize it," Hatori replied. "It took a few hints to piece it together but I figured it out. Her name is too feminine, which I doubted most parents would want for their son. Her hand was small when I shook it, and her facial features are really similar to that of a girl's. Even though her voice is deeper than normal girls, with some things she said she didn't quite sound like a boy. And also she's too small and thin."

The other hosts sweatdropped. _So perceptive..._

"How did you-" Tamaki fumbled.

"Tori-san wants to be a doctor when he grows up!" Ayame exclaimed proudly, as if it were his own goal to achieve. The group murmured in understanding. It did indeed make sense.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.

Kyoya smiled. "That must be our guests. I do hope our new hosts are prepared to receive." His eyebrow lifted.

"Like you even have to ask!" Ayame scoffed.

"I was born ready!" Shigure stated.

"God help me," Hatori muttered.

**A/N -**

**Ada: Aaaaand that's a wrap! Heh...poor Tori-san indeed...:) I know we haven't revealed their types yet, but that will be done in the next chapter. And now for our review responses!**

**Anti-Social Otaku -**

**Ada: Ah, thanks for reviewing the second chapter as you did the first. :D I dunno why people don't know good shiz. Then again, I didn't know if this was good shiz or not. So thanks a lot! :3**

**Bro: Thank you again for being awesome!**

**Nyan Rickiesay'shi -**

**Ada: Yes, yes...poor Tori-san. :) He probably hates us now. OH WELL! Thanks for the review.**

**Bro: You knew right. Thanks so much for reviewing, it means a lot especially when they're nice.**

**Chelsea the Chef -**

**Ada: OH, I wonder who this could be...let's see...her name is Chelsea...mentions cupcakes...seems to know us...haha yeah we know you. :3 It's awesome when friends like your writing because it really encourages you. So thank you!**

**Bro: Ok, hold your horses Chelsea-chan the next chapter is now up!**

**MewBlueberryLuvsKisshu -**

**Ada: Damn, everyone seems to have caught on from the start. o.o What is it? That they both fake imply yaoi? That they like to tease people? And cause trouble? )**

**Bro: How could you tell they would become friends? JK. Lol. Thanks for the review.**

**Daysky -**

**Ada: Hey, your username sounds like a Warriors name! :D Hehe. Maybe I'm wrong. Anyways good to know you still want us to do this!**

**Bro: You love this story, well I love you for loving the story.**

**watashi wa kyo2 -**

**Ada: Always nice to hear we've done a good job. Thank you for enjoying our story and we hope to hear more from you. :)**

**Bro: Aww that's a nice thing to say. Thanks for the review.**

**Destiny -**

**Ada: Thanks! :3**

**Bro: I love you! We updated.**

**Ada: Aaaand thanks to all of the followers and favouriters too! This time we'd love to hear peoples' reactions to any part that you liked/stuck out to you in this chapter in their reviews. Then we'll keep doing our best!**


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